We all know about Fight or Flight, but have you heard about Tend & Befriend?
I just had 1st hand experience with this instinct when a new friend from business circles shared that she’s in the early stages of separation & divorce (but this totally applies to business, too, so read on ; )
Having been-there-done-that, I offered to talk – especially when I heard she was about to have her first session with a divorce mediator and there were things I wished I’d known before my mediation sessions. She expressed loads of gratitude, to which I replied, “OF COURSE! I’m happy to help! Can’t leave a single-mama-in-the-making to fend for herself!”
And then it hit me: THIS is a perfect real-life example of the Tend & Befriend UCLA Study!
You’ve heard me talk before about how we’re wired for SURVIVAL and are still subconsciously on constant watch for possible threats – like a saber tooth tiger that might make a meal outta you.
The study showed that women rely less on “fight or flight” when faced with stressful situations (ultimately: perceived threats) and instead are more likely to nurture & “tend” to offspring or vulnerable members of their community, AND to affiliate with or “befriend” others like them for support.
And then it hit me even harder:
Tend & Befriend is what my newly birthed Retreats & Masterminds are ALL about!
Ultimately, it’s a supportive environment where you will never be left hanging to fend for yourself … particularly as you expand into the (fear-inducing) unknown territory of next-level wealth & impact.
Just to be clear: EVERY “next level” is unknown territory, and as such is inherently packed with perceived threats, cause you haven’t yet figured out where the saber tooth tiger’s den is!
(BTW: If you find yourself facing the SAME inner-challenges over & over, thinking “what the heck – haven’t I already handled this????” YES – you probably have … AND every time you step into a new level it’s new territory with new possible threats that bring out the same old auto-pilot ways of coping.)
At the Retreat we spent 2+ days exploring how our PERCEIVED THREATS (and resulting FEAR) are what keep us from stepping into our FULL power.
Even in a brief 90-minute workshop I led for a small group last week, everyone there was able to see where their perceived threats keep them:
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Trying to prove themselves by being Super Woman and exhausted by doing ALL the things
- Fearful of making the “wrong” decisions, and therefore being the bottleneck by not making the necessary decisions
- Living in Fight or Flight like it’s the only option, which tends to go hand in hand with playing the I’m-Better-Off-Doing-It-Myself ‘Lone Wolf’ role, as though it’s a badge of honor
- Holding their business and/or themself back in some way
- Living with some degree of life-sucking consequences, like being 20 pounds heavier than they want, or telling their kids to have cereal for dinner (again) because they’re too busy to cook & sit down as a family, or having a life partner who says it would be nice to see them every once in a while because they’re afraid if they ease off the gas – even a little bit – everything will fall apart.
Wanna cut it out? Like, STOP letting fear of those perceived threats run you, and instead be FREE to create a business & life of your design?
The Transforming Millions™ Executive Mastermind is a supportive circle of fellow trusted women business leaders who lift each other up (Tend & Befriend!) to not only REACH your achievements for a business & life of your design, but to enjoy & celebrate the journey every step of the way.
That means all of it’s beautiful, awesome moments, AND all of its messy, maybe even crappy moments.
A safe space to take off the armor and be the REAL you, with nothing to prove (neither to yourself nor anyone else).
A safe space to BE ENOUGH as you grow your biz AND live life now, rather than racing to cross a finish line that never comes because no matter how much you achieve, it’s never enough. (lemme guess, “The goal must not have been BIG enough” right? I’ve heard that one dozens of times)
A safe space to acknowledge and work through the fear from the millions of perceived threats that are bound to come up anyway (cause that’s how we humans roll), but to do it with Tend & Befriend support so you can powerfully move FORWARD in the face of fear.
A safe space to offer & receive the wisdom & resources that come from lessons learned among fabulous fellow female founders with varying areas of experience & expertise.
They say you are a reflection of the 5 people you spend the most time with. 3 out of 5 spots are already taken for the Founding Member’s circle of the Transforming Millions™ Executive Mastermind. If you want one of the remaining spots (with insane-in-the-membrane Founding Member special deals!) apply here!